Little time ago I have started to try and get into using Twitter, so now you can find and follow me there as @NoLifeNovel
It wraps around my neck
It won’t let go, loosen it’s hold
I feel it with every breath
But I guess that’s what they call love
I can still feel you
Everywhere I go
I wish to see you
Just to say good bye
Let go of the memory
That I love more than you
It’s funny how you don’t have to be dead to haunt me.
An advice that I gave to a friend after the first time I had done it myself. I bought a permanent color and soon my hair was bright blue like the night sky. Now, one and half years later I have done it again, with a semi-permanent this time but to tell the truth it is not even a bit better.
I don’t understand why I’m having such a hard time keeping my word, promises that I give to myself. The blue dye will fade soon, and I don’t have the interest in jumping through hoops to keep the color bright and beautiful. In no time it will be a mess of grey and some weird purplish tone. I can’t blonde it without destroying my hair and turning it green. I could dye some dark tone on top of it but that will be hard to get rid of and the roots will soon be looking awful. And that is what my life is all about.
Over a year ago I stopped going to therapy, I felt great, balanced and independent. It was like nothing could stop me. Then I went to work, school started and I started to try and be in good terms with my mother. Some women have daddy-issues. I have mother-troubles.
As school hasn’t started off that well, I have started to wonder about changing my major. At the moment I’m studying in a university to become a special-educations teacher but I’m not sure if I’d be that good in it. One night my mother had invited me and my sister to her boyfriend’s house to eat and I decided to tell her about my plans. All hell broke loose before you could say ” a cat”. And as an adult (or at least trying to be one) I got up and went outside to the cold winter air. I thought I’d just cool off and let my mother and his boyfriend to calm down. Maybe they’d listen to me and my reasons.
My sister did her best trying to speak for me, but in the end when she came outside to speak to me, my mother locked the door leaving us in the middle of the night. Outside. Cold. So we left to go home. After that night my mother hasn’t spoken to me for a month and I’m left feeling depressed and anxious.
So yea, that’s my life.
I curl up into a corner
pull my knees close
Bury my head
And no one knows
Slowly, yet surely the raindrops started to form above of the five and as the water in the clouds got heavier the rain started softly drip. As the first drips hit the ground Cassidy carefully lifted her head.
“There was a building not that far from here…” she requested and looked at her brother, Damien who had buried his face into his hands trying to think. His hands dropped and he looked to her sister nodding.
“That is probably the best idea”, he confirmed and before he could open his mouth another time Nathan had opened the car door and walked to get his things from the trunk of the car. The car had seen some better days, which all of them knew while backing. The doors didn’t lock, the radio had a mind of its’ own at times, at least when it came to picking the channel and it wasn’t a surprise the whole thing stopped working. It was about to happen some time. So no one needed to say a thing when it came to backing lightly and carrying their stuff around. At times Veronica tried to shove her bags to Damien or Finn, and this wasn’t an exception.
Finnley rushed to get to the trunk before Cassidy and helped her to lift her bag. He kissed her, and they began to walk in Nathan’s footsteps as the rain got heavier. After them came Veronica, who at this time left her luggage for Damien to take care of. Unlike usually he kept his mouth and took her things, closed the door and walked behind everyone.
Nathan dropped his cigarette and stepped on it before taking a dash to the car. He opened the door and took the front seat place, which had belonged to Veronica. And as soon as Veronica noticed what he was about to do, she ran after him.
“Get out!” she screamed while trying to open the door, just to notice that Nathan had been faster and locked the door. Nathan lifted his hand and showed his middle finger to her.
“Damien”, Veronica turned around and with a demanding tone hissed at Damien, who ordered her to get in the back seat.
“Or else you can stay here”, Damien said and everyone got in the car without having to be told twice. His temper was short, even shorter than usually, so even Veronica wasn’t that sure he wasn’t going to do it. And as the doors were closed, everyone went quiet. Damien sat on the driver’s spot, safety belt clicked and he turned the key to start the car.
The motor coughed at first and then sighed, but they moved nowhere. Smoke started to rise from under the hood of the car, more with every sound the car made. Damien hit the steering wheal and breathed in few times heavily enough to be heard to the back seat. Veronica cursed under her breath while Damien got out of the car.
The internet connection was gone and there were no bars on any of the five’s phones. And to make matters worse storm clouds were gathering around fast. It wouldn’t take long for the rain start pouring.
“So what now?”, Finnley was the first to voice the concern, but nobody answered.