Little time ago I have started to try and get into using Twitter, so now you can find and follow me there as @NoLifeNovel
An advice that I gave to a friend after the first time I had done it myself. I bought a permanent color and soon my hair was bright blue like the night sky. Now, one and half years later I have done it again, with a semi-permanent this time but to tell the truth it is not even a bit better.
I don’t understand why I’m having such a hard time keeping my word, promises that I give to myself. The blue dye will fade soon, and I don’t have the interest in jumping through hoops to keep the color bright and beautiful. In no time it will be a mess of grey and some weird purplish tone. I can’t blonde it without destroying my hair and turning it green. I could dye some dark tone on top of it but that will be hard to get rid of and the roots will soon be looking awful. And that is what my life is all about.
Over a year ago I stopped going to therapy, I felt great, balanced and independent. It was like nothing could stop me. Then I went to work, school started and I started to try and be in good terms with my mother. Some women have daddy-issues. I have mother-troubles.
As school hasn’t started off that well, I have started to wonder about changing my major. At the moment I’m studying in a university to become a special-educations teacher but I’m not sure if I’d be that good in it. One night my mother had invited me and my sister to her boyfriend’s house to eat and I decided to tell her about my plans. All hell broke loose before you could say ” a cat”. And as an adult (or at least trying to be one) I got up and went outside to the cold winter air. I thought I’d just cool off and let my mother and his boyfriend to calm down. Maybe they’d listen to me and my reasons.
My sister did her best trying to speak for me, but in the end when she came outside to speak to me, my mother locked the door leaving us in the middle of the night. Outside. Cold. So we left to go home. After that night my mother hasn’t spoken to me for a month and I’m left feeling depressed and anxious.
So yea, that’s my life.
It was last Monday when our new family member arrived on a very tight schedule on a plane. Her name is Adelinda, but as in Finland our tongues do not twist that way, we call her Ada (or Aada). She is a rescue dog, about 8 months old mix breed who was found on a field with her brothers and sisters when they were only two weeks of age. Only ten of them survived after getting ill, and the only brown one was our little Ada. She is a lot smaller than what she seems to be in the pictures.
The whole experience has been something worth seeing. There was a lot of waiting, that I can say! The plane was twenty minutes late and the last thing to get out of there are the dogs. And Ada was the last one to get out, terrified to say the least. The first thing she did was hide in a corner, and that she has been doing when she got home.
Earning the trust of a rescue is not easy, but slowly it seems she is starting to feel at home. When we’re not looking she plays with her toys, her appetite has started to wake and she is slowly leaving the corner she has been laying. It still breaks my heart every time she looks unease and scared. Unsure of how she should act and where she is at. But one step at a time.
The feeling I’m experiencing is unbelievable, that is the only way to describe it. I got the acceptance letter from collage and going back to school this fall!
I was already making plans for what to do if I wouldn’t get into anywhere, as I was sure that’d be the situation. I didn’t have too high hopes, and was prepared to be working for at least a year before going back to my studies and I was fine with it. But now it seems I’m going to get to do something I love: teaching! It is just unbelievable.
Yet I haven’t really talked about it, not counting my family, as I was afraid of it being a mistake. Only few days earlier there were news about another Finnish collage that had accidentally sent acceptance letters to seventy students who didn’t get in and was apologizing for the mistake. But now I’m starting to get sure about it being real.
Tomorrow my mother is coming to my place and we are going to celebrate this with her, my sister and my boyfriend. Yet I’m still sad in a way.
As thinking I’d spend the next year only working locally and with my hobbies, so me and my mother started to plan on getting a dog together. We had looked for a young, female rescue-dog that would have been in contact with cats, and found a few that we were interested. We wrote an email about one, that was how sure I was to be left without a place to study. The dog had many people being interested in her, so that doesn’t seem to be likely to work out, but I still feel the dog fever burning.
Far from them, hundreds of miles away, years back in time. Those memories still lived on in Lyam’s mind. That night after visiting his old home, burned down on the ground, he sat down in his room in front of a small wooden table. He had been moved to the same inn, where Verrill and Denisa had been living for few days, as he had gotten better. They still didn’t know what had happened or why, maybe they never would, but that was something everyone just had to live with. The memories from the night of the attack were fuzzy to all of the survivors but something else had gotten clearer on the way. It wasn’t the same for all of them, but neither of them could just shake it off.
Verrill lied in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was quiet, some of the chatter down stairs leaked from between the floor boards, but it wasn’t something that would bother him. He had pulled his pillow foot or two lower so he could still have his boots on while laying down. His feet hung over from the bedside and he had tugged his arms under his head for additional support. And all he could think of was safety.
Even though no one saw it, he was mixed up due to what had happened. Every creak made his heart beat faster, and it wasn’t like him. He closed his eyes for a moment only to open them again. He couldn’t sleep. Actually he hadn’t slept after what had happened, only few hours here and there. No matter how much he wished he could return to their home, build it up again, he knew that he’d have to take his sister to somewhere safer. He felt cold all the time and sleep deprivation made him even more jumpy. He couldn’t stay there.
Lyam opened the bottle of ink that was set down on the table. The cork was stuck a bit, so he had to use more force to get it open and in the process he spilled some of the ink on a pile of paper, which the innkeeper had brought in his room. It didn’t matter. He grabbed the quill and dipped it in the ink that was left in the bottle. Then he let the tip touch the paper. At first he didn’t know what to write. How to start. And it left another stain on the paper, but after the dam opened the words poured like a stream on the paper.
Denisa walked back and forth in another room. She had a hairbrush on her hand and once in a while she stroke her locks few times. Then she reached for the door knob but pulled her hand back, turned around and fled to the other side of the room. Only to do it all over again.
“Get yourself together”, she told herself and looked into the mirror. She pulled her hair over her left shoulder and put down the brush. She braided her hair and faked a smile, even though it didn’t look like it normally did. She was too nervous, yet she had to do it. It might be now or never. So she would take her chances, as she had made up her mind.
Denisa straightened her skirt and walked to the door, opened it and stepped outside, on the hallway. She knew where to go and didn’t even think about it, just letting her feet do the work. As she stood outside the door, she took a long breath and knocked. It took a moment but then the door creaked open.
“Um… Hi”, she said trying not to stutter, “Hope I’m not bothering you.”
And I’m basically freaking out.
On Monday we’re supposed to go get the keys from town nearby with my sister as my boyfriend is working and then it’s the time to start bringing stuff in. Yesterday I backed already most of my things I don’t really need before that, and my room was, and still is kinda, in worst condition it has ever probably been. The chaos is real, and I can’t say that I’d be the most tidy, strict person. I’m loose, relaxed and messy myself. Maybe it’s due to being artistic in a way. Or maybe I have gotten it from my mother, who is a hurricane to say the least.
My cat, Oliver, was freaking out for a moment. He didn’t know where he could go but ended up sleeping on his pillow, on my bed where I had put it. I just know that I can’t move him in straight away, I first need to make things tidy enough in our new home for him to move in. Even though he is fast at getting used to new places, it would be too stressing.
I also figured out I haven’t told that many people that I’m moving. Or that I have gotten a job. Should do that.. Seriously.
So I got a job last Tuesday, and that is why my writing has slowed down a LOT.
Even though my days may have not been as long as they could, I have been just exhausted when I have gotten home and basically just went to sleep. The job is interesting and I’m loving it, but I don’t really have as much free time as I’m used to and it is very physical, which I’m not used to either. But maybe I’ll find the energy to do something else as time passes. I still try to write as I can and maybe a bit more so I can publish posts on the days I can’t really sit down and write.
Only thing that really annoys me is that I feel a flu coming, my throat is sore and that may be why I feel even more tired and I really don’t have time to be sick with the work and moving away from home, and I’d love to spend more time with my boyfriend. Other wise everything’s good. Life is moving forward. At last!