An advice that I gave to a friend after the first time I had done it myself. I bought a permanent color and soon my hair was bright blue like the night sky. Now, one and half years later I have done it again, with a semi-permanent this time but to tell the truth it is not even a bit better.
I don’t understand why I’m having such a hard time keeping my word, promises that I give to myself. The blue dye will fade soon, and I don’t have the interest in jumping through hoops to keep the color bright and beautiful. In no time it will be a mess of grey and some weird purplish tone. I can’t blonde it without destroying my hair and turning it green. I could dye some dark tone on top of it but that will be hard to get rid of and the roots will soon be looking awful. And that is what my life is all about.
Over a year ago I stopped going to therapy, I felt great, balanced and independent. It was like nothing could stop me. Then I went to work, school started and I started to try and be in good terms with my mother. Some women have daddy-issues. I have mother-troubles.
As school hasn’t started off that well, I have started to wonder about changing my major. At the moment I’m studying in a university to become a special-educations teacher but I’m not sure if I’d be that good in it. One night my mother had invited me and my sister to her boyfriend’s house to eat and I decided to tell her about my plans. All hell broke loose before you could say ” a cat”. And as an adult (or at least trying to be one) I got up and went outside to the cold winter air. I thought I’d just cool off and let my mother and his boyfriend to calm down. Maybe they’d listen to me and my reasons.
My sister did her best trying to speak for me, but in the end when she came outside to speak to me, my mother locked the door leaving us in the middle of the night. Outside. Cold. So we left to go home. After that night my mother hasn’t spoken to me for a month and I’m left feeling depressed and anxious.
So yea, that’s my life.